Hello? Are You Still Out There?

Hello?  Are you still out there?  I can't believe I've been away so long, but I assure you, I've been busy.  When I last posted, I shared that I had a new job.  Having always prided myself on being fairly bright and able to learn just about anything I set my mind to: boy howdy, did I get a wake up call.

I've been an RN for 33 years and I have experience in several areas.  One of the nicest things about being an RN is the flexibility of working different positions in a variety of venues.  I have spent 24 years working in hospital facilities and the rest in a variety of areas that gave me the opportunity to try life outside of a hospital setting.  I was able to learn many different jobs in a reasonable amount of time.  Now, for the first time in my life, I was afraid I was not going to be successful and it really set me back on my heels.  Yikes.

My latest job is in an area which I had zero experience.  The generous people who hired me knew I didn't have any experience in this area but decided to take a chance and hired me.  God bless them for their generosity.  After general orientation, I started the nuts and bolts of putting together the information to become competent in my new job.  As I stated, I thought I had the job I would retire from when I got laid off.  I had not had a new job in over eight years so the process of being a "New Bee", was a distant memory.  It never occurred to me I might have bitten off more than I could chew.  About two weeks into the process, I started to realize it might be impossible to teach this old dog some new tricks.  Ouch.  Then the panic started to roil in the back of my mind; "What if I can't do this?"

On top of learning a new clinical area was the daunting experience of learning EMR.  Electronic Medical Records, which is charting patient information in a computer program rather than on paper. So what's the big deal?  Well, even being fairly computer savvy, this was a very big deal.  Apparently my brain doesn't think the same way that the people who developed the program do.  What seems perfectly logical to me wasn't part of the program and things that totally baffled me were standard operating procedure for EMR.  Really?  So not only am I learning a new clinical area, I'm learning a new language as well.  I don't know what the statistics are about learning a new language after a certain age, but I'll bet the learning curve is completely different at 61 than it is at 21.  The panic continued to simmer.

May I say that the people who were saddled with training me have have been extraordinarily generous and supportive?  They have been uniformly gracious and have been, patient and kind.  Each had a different style in how they shared their expertise with me, but I have learned something from each one that contributed to my knowledge base. All that being said, I was struggling mightily.   My self confidence was flagging because, quite honestly, I was used to being really good at my job.  Being at best, not dangerous, was and is not acceptable to me.  My ego beside, the patients deserve the best and I was not yet able to provide that.  They got what they needed and were safe, but deserved so much more. 

So, I plod on.  My mentors continue to answer my questions with patience and grace and slowly, I am getting better at the job.  Not shooting for the starring role, just wanting to be a good enough.  This is all a new mind set for me.  I have to say, that although I am now OK in my new job, I still aspire to be much better.  Very much humbled by this experience, it gives me renewed appreciation for the learning process.  Although it has taken me much longer than I expected, the process has not been without it's upside: new and wonderful colleagues, and a new area to grow into.  Life is good.