My Truth Jeans Have Spoken

Yes, you read it correctly:  my truth jeans have spoken and it isn't good.  I do not weigh myself often because I tend to chase numbers.  Chasing numbers tends to strike up the OCD band and that just makes me crazy.  I know.  The crazy bus pulled away from the curb some time ago.  Let's just say chasing numbers exacerbates the condition.  In lieu of weighing myself, I put my one pair of non stretchy jeans on.  They are not forgiving, but they do give me the information I need.  I now know I have too much cushion on the tush.  Yes, I'm afraid the jeans said, "Back away from the feeding trough. NOW!"

My fall from grace started subtly in November when the layoffs started in the company that eventually laid me off too.  Even knowing that I was stress eating didn't stop me from eating.  I would have long conversations with myself about why I was eating so much, but apparently it was actually a monologue.  I never answered questions.  Maybe because I couldn't hear the questions over the perpetual chewing. Picture Ms. Pac Man.  Yes, now you have the visual picture in your brain of a woman who "mowed" her way out of her jeans.

I am not a sweet eater per se : it rarely occurs to me to buy cookies, cakes and such.  I do however eat light snacks.  I have take to stocking up on prepackaged snacks which typically run around 100 calories.  What a surprise to find out if you eat three of them at a time it really negates the idea of a light snack.  I mean it is the American way right?  If one is good, than three must be better.  The good news is at least they weren't sold in packages with more that five to six servings.  I mean really, that could have been disastrous. Would adding a label that stated, "Eat at your own risk...too many at a time has been associated with unimpeded hip growth.  Proceed with caution", have helped?

When I'm not dipping into the light snacks, I'm doing food inventory about every thirty minutes.  You can't be too careful.  Who knows when something from the pantry or refrigerator might escape or suddenly reach it's expiration date?  Someone has to keep an eye on these things to prevent theft and waste.  Over and over I check the larder.  And the more I check the larder, the lardier I get.  Oh now I get it.  It's called a larder for a reason. I should have seen that coming.


So now that the Truth Jeans have spoken I guess I'll have to do something about it. The holiday party season is over which helps. I have LOTS of spare time to exercise and that should help.  I supposed I could stock healthier food options in the house.  I will do all of these things.  Right after I take a nap and finish up all the holiday food...wouldn't want to waste anything you know.  What's that you say Truth Jeans?  I can't hear you, I'm still chewing.